And so as I get ready to write in earnest on this blog, I take a moment to reflect on what you may wish to read about. I believe that you want truth, to be able to relate my problems to your own problems and maybe to see the parallels and conflicts in your life.
I hope that you will also see a need to write in addition to talk therapies and medications. Often writing will bring a problem to be examined in a rational light. So, without further ado, I invite you to follow my brief posts and comment if you like.
A brand new life is a bit of a stretch for a title, but the subtitle is right on target. This blog is about my fight with bipolar syndrome. At this time, I am very stable and have been for about a year. No extremes, no depressions or manic episodes. Mostly in the neutral zone. Oh there have been little blips over the year but they are recognizable and lasted only a day or, at most, two days.
So why a blog if I’m stable? It took seven years of medication changes and pretty intense therapy to get here. I say seven years, but that was since I had an extreme depressive episode that saw me hospitalized. That was not, however my first major depression. I have had them since I was in college. My depressions have also often been accompanied by migraine attacks. I still get the migraine headaches, but not a nearly the same frequency as during the bad times. I credit the medications I am on for the improvements for both situations.
So getting down to it, I write this now to try to be an encouraging example to others as to how they may also have hope and determination to get through their dark days. I truly believe that bipolar syndrome is an illness that one can fight and win. It’s a combination of situations you have to learn to balance as well as a chemical imbalance your doctor has to try to adjust to fit your needs. That is what it means by syndrome.
There is a new dating site called Bipolar Chat City who would charge me $40 for a 3 month membership to meet and chat with ‘Bipolar’ women. No guarantee that there will be anyone remotely close to me I would like to actually meet. May try trial membership but not for another week at least.
I couldn’t wait. Signed up for the free membership and I’m glad that I did it that way. That site is just getting started and there are few people on it with bipolar. I knew it in my bones that I shouldn’t pay for it. Have you ever been on a dating site that didn’t deliver for you?
I have been blessed with many things since I have returned from the darkness. For one thing, I have crawled and clawed my way back to something in the way of good health. I have a good relationship with my ex of 20 years and with my daughters. All are good things. I have not sought out a new love – primarily due to the fact that I am wary of starting a new relationship. It is hard enough when you’re not potentially facing a downward spiral or manic highs. No, it’s something I want but won’t let myself have.